Archive for October, 2014

Marriage Advice on My Husband’s Birthday

Another blogger was doing a round-up of marriage advice recently, and I read through the blog posts and wanted to share my own.

I’ve really only got one piece of advice:

“Love your spouse for who they are.”

It’s easy to love your spouse for who you WANT them to be.  Or who you think you can MAKE them be.  Or even who they USE to be.

It’s really hard to love your spouse for who they are – right now at this very moment.

Some moments, spouses are hard to love.  Maybe they are depressed, or they have made incredibly poor money choices, or they don’t like you very much.

Love them anyway.

As an ex-wife, I say the same thing.  I love my ex-husbands for who they ARE: the Fathers of my Incredible Children.  My kids wouldn’t be who they are right now, if they didn’t have the fathers they have.  And I wouldn’t change my kids for anything – I love my Caterpillars.

Take a look at your spouse today.  There is *something* good in everyone, you have to find it.  Some of us are lucky (like me) and it’s obvious.

My husband, Otto, is an amazing Dad and Stepdad.  He’s also a giver, who would sacrifice his own happiness and wellbeing to make sure I am okay.  He’s the model of a Biblical Protector and Provider.  He feels no shame in outward signs of affection and makes sure to hug and kiss all of us (even the gangly 14-year-old boy) every day.  He loves the “manly” things – and throws footballs around and talks sports.  He understands and encourages the fire inside each of us.  And he strives to sit with the family every night before bed and listen to each of us pray.

He isn’t perfect,  When we disagree, it’s loudly and with feeling (chalk that up to the theatre inside us).  But even in those moments, I love him for who he is – a passionate Godly man who wants to lead his family on the path God has for us.  This is the man I will have grandchildren with.

I think if we all looked for the way to love our spouse for who they are, we would see divorce rates plummet.  More time in marriage counseling, because problems don’t just go away, but if you love your spouse – you can both be willing to work on it.

I love you, Otto.  Happy Birthday – just as you are.

In this picture, I am loving him for who he is - A UGA Bulldawg willing to wear Geaux Tiger shirts, because he loves me so much.

In this picture, I am loving him for who he is – A UGA Bulldawg willing to wear Geaux Tiger shirts, because he loves me so much.

~Mummy Butterfly  )i(

Went’s 2nd Birthday

Two years…  As everyone says on their child’s birthday “it’s hard to believe it’s been that long.”  Time flies so quickly, but at the same time, it’s so hard to remember life before it involved children.

We did a “Pumpkin Painting Party” for Went’s 2nd Birthday.  It was an (easy) hit, the Birthday Boy was happy and that was what matters most.  Publix made me a wonderful (non-scary-halloween) cake.  A clean house and a little preparation was all I could do this year.

Papa is excited about the UGA jersey...

Papa is excited about the UGA jersey…

CAKE!

CAKE!

Blowing out Candles

Blowing out Candles

Queen made "Balloon Pumpkins" - a hidden talent she has!

Queen made “Balloon Pumpkins” – a hidden talent she has!

The Birthday Boy's Lunch

The Birthday Boy’s Lunch

The "Drying Rack" for Pumpkins

The “Drying Rack” for Pumpkins

He LOVED Painting!

He LOVED Painting!

PAINTING!

PAINTING!

Sitting with Papa

Sitting with Papa

The Chili!

The Chili!

Hot Dogs and Chili for lunch

Hot Dogs and Chili for lunch

The Painting Spot

The Painting Spot

The Painting Supplies

The Painting Supplies

Decorations

Decorations

The Pumpkin Party Cake

The Pumpkin Party Cake

Painting Pumpkins

Painting Pumpkins

Opening Gifts (He LOVES his shoes!)

Opening Gifts (He LOVES his shoes!)

I am so happy with how it all turned out!

Happy 2nd Birthday, Went!

~Mummy Butterfly  )i(

Grandparent’s Day

Yesterday was Grandparents Day at GO and Went’s preschool.  It went off beautifully, as usual.  Amazing teachers and the Caterpillars got to see their Grandparents – or got postcards that were delivered perfectly on the right day.

I have a confession, though.

I hate Grandparents Day.

I know hate is a strong word, but it is one of the few days during the year that my heart aches beyond what I feel like I can handle.  I was on edge all day, annoyed at everything, frustrated and not near as nice as I should be.

I have always thanked God that my Mimi was in my life.  She was our constant, in an ever-moving world of childhood.  Her house with Granddaddy is the oldest house in my memories.  It’s the place I felt safe and loved and it never changed, even when it was rearranged, or Granddaddy planted new plants or built the “little house”.

And I can’t stop crying today.  I think I scared Went, and CW has no clue what is going on with his crazy mother.

Sometimes there is a day that is harder than others.

Sometimes that day stretches into days.

I miss her so badly, I can hardly breathe.

~Mummy Butterfly  )i(