Implosion

im·plo·sion

[im-ploh-zhuhn]   –noun

The act of imploding; a bursting inward (opposed to explosion).
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When something explodes, it’s usually tragic.  It’s unplanned and people get hurt and it’s messy.  It leaves scars on the landscape forever.
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An implosion is different.  The total destruction is the same, but care is taken.  People are moved and charges are carefully laid, so when the implosion happens damage is minimal.  The landscape can be remembered as a place where good things happened, but cleared for good things to come.
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In the end, the same thing happens.  But it’s so much simpler to clean up an implosion.
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We’ve imploded.  My marriage has imploded.  Am I upset?  Yes, both of us are.  But we both recognize that as beautiful as the things that came out of our marriage are – the marriage itself isn’t pretty or healthy or right.  It’s a negative and hurtful place for us both.  Papers are filed, finished (without lawyers even getting involved), and now we are waiting for a final court date.
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It’s natural to want to point fingers – and so I will for a moment.  I will point a finger at the man who isn’t going to be my husband anymore and tell you that he is the best father GO could have ever had – and he was an amazing stepfather for B10 and CW.  He has committed to remaining involved in their lives, because he is a good man.
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When we told the boys, they actually (on their own) asked him if he would be their “Godfather” (they have Godmums, but not Godfathers).
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I will never be his wife again, but I will always cherish the knowledge that together we are parents.  To three of the most beautiful children in the world.  And in the long run, I believe the children will be better for seeing us happy – even if that means we are happy apart.
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Please, for those who pray – please continue to do so.
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~Mummy Butterfly  )i(
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(For ease of blogging transition, I will refer to him as “CPA” – because I truly believe it’s neither safe nor wise to use real names on the internet in today’s day and age.)
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5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Sharon on 03 06 11 at 7:53 am

    C,

    Just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I know this must be a difficult time for all of you. Always remember that God is your source of peace, of joy, of comfort and of every need you have. Isaiah 54:5 “For they Maker is thine husband, the Lord of Hosts is His name, they Redeemer,the Holy One of Israel, the God of this whole earth shall He be called.”

    If you need anything, a place to stay, a shoulder to cry on or just someone to listen, please do not hesitate to call me.

    Love you,
    Sharon

    Reply

  2. Love you all! Will continue to pray for all of you. xoxo

    Reply

  3. Posted by Lila on 03 06 11 at 8:43 am

    Praying for everyone.
    An interesting, yet accurate way of discribing what you are going through. You and he are to be commended for focusing on the role of parenting and making that a priority. So many times the needs of children are lost amid the adult arguments. Your children are blessed to have parents who love them.

    Reply

  4. Posted by Malenki on 03 06 11 at 12:19 pm

    Darling Sister,

    I have never stopped praying through this entire journey of sorts. I love all five of you dearly, and want you happy – though most of all in God’s will, where I believe you will be happiest in the end. I have never stopped being proud to call you my big sister, and never will. Know that I think no less of either of you, and that I will never love any of you less than I always have. God’s hand is in everything our family is experiencing right now, as painful as all of it is, and I am trusting Him to hold you – all of you – in His hands … and while I wish I could wave a magic wand and make all the pain disappear, I know you are safer in the arms of Jesus than in my will or yours.

    with love and prayers, always … your Malenki

    Reply

  5. Posted by K. C. Pearcey on 04 06 11 at 8:03 am

    Loving you and praying for you always. Jeremiah 33:3

    Reply

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