100th Post – Authenticity

I read a blog post about a month ago where the writer discussed how hard it was for her to become truly authentic on her blog.  I don’t remember where it was, it could have been some “famous” blogger or just a mum that I found by clicking on link after link through other people’s blogs.

I do know that it has been digging around in my brain, though, since I read it.

Part of me wants to be truly authentic on my blog – talk about the good and the bad and the ugly (and the beautiful).  But there is that fear, fear that someone will read it and think I’m a bad mother or a bad Christian.  Fear that I’ll lose something or someone.

“Some”-thing…”some”-one…

Nothing definite, all undefined.

The reality is that if a person reading my blog wanted to think I was a bad mother, they likely already think so.  If they KNOW me – they know that’s not true.  If a person reading my blog wanted to believe that I am a horrid person or a poor excuse for a Christan – well, they thought that when they read the first 99 posts on this blog (and the almost 3 years worth of posts from my old blog).

And if I want people to get to know me through this blog (because they are internet friends), then showing them only the positives isn’t going to allow them to KNOW me – only a false image of me.

Unflattering - Authentic - Picture of Me

For the next 100 posts (and hopefully beyond), I am striving to be more authentic.  More real.  Mock me if you like.  I’ll laugh along, because I tend to do that.  🙂

To start off…five real things about me:

1) Yesterday was a rough day.  I yelled at the Caterpillars more than I wanted to.  We lost one of GO’s brand new black boots ($15 of my Christmas money down the drain).  The house was a mess, and no one wanted to be part of the “clean-up crew”.  I had asked Hubby to print out a Character Study that my sister-in-law, Aunt CC, is doing with the Garden Girls and when B10, CW and I sat down at the table to do it – I think I was the one with the gut-check on being obedient to God.  (You can see the study here at Confessions of a Homeschooler, and Aunt CC’s post here.)

2) I am frustrated by the amount of money you have to spend to adopt a child.  I know that certain things are necessary (like the Hague Convention), but so much other money they demand you spend seems so trivial in what it accomplishes.  Since we have three kids of our own, it’s highly unlikely we’d ever be chosen by a girl who is looking for parents for her baby.  Yes – I get angry when I see teenagers getting pregnant, when there are so many good, stable families who can’t have kids (or any more kids).

3) I love sports.  Really love them.  Football, Baseball, Track, Swimming, Weight-Lifting, Cheerleading, Soccer…  I get the Sports Illustrated email in my inbox, and read almost all of it, usually.  Unless it’s about something I don’t care about.  Basketball season is the worst.  I don’t consider Basketball a real sport.  Just so you know.

4) I despise most “Christian Romance” books.  Cannot stand them.  It’s not the writing (they are often talented authors), it’s the sugary-ness of most of them.  I feel that way about Rom-Com movies and generally anything that involves two people holding hands or kissing.  I would rather watch a well choreographed fight scene.  Or something blow up.  This is why Mythbusters is one of my favorite television shows, and there are VERY few comedies I currently watch on TV (Big Bang Theory and Mike & Molly being the only two exceptions I can think of off the top of my head).

5) My dream is to be on The Amazing Race, but not with Hubby.  He and I have discussed this many times, and I think one of the hallmarks of a good relationship is knowing when NOT to do something together.  But, when I (and my partner) win the money – he and I will take a lovely vacation just the two of us.  To somewhere warm.  With a beach.  Perhaps a boat.  Maybe mountain climbing/hiking.  I like the idea of Peru and Machu Picchu.  I hate cold weather, it hurts.

~Mummy Butterfly  )i(

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9 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Robyn on 05 01 11 at 1:45 pm

    In regards to #2, hang in there and trust God, He has a plan! Joshua’s birth mom chose us even though we already had 3 kids because she knew he was meant to be part of our family! And he will ALWAYS provide a way for His plan to come to fruition! 🙂

    Reply

  2. Commence calling yourself “Wendy” — the franchise’s current branding statement is “you know when it’s real.”

    Good stuff… life is about the struggles and what we do about ’em.

    Reply

  3. Posted by Ashley McLure on 05 01 11 at 2:54 pm

    Love #5. I and a friend of mine have agreed that we’d make a good team for Amazing Race. No intention of ever doing it with hubby. We’d bicker too much. Taking a month away from family, though, makes that an impossibility for now. Ah well.

    Reply

  4. Posted by Niki on 05 01 11 at 3:06 pm

    i heart you, especially the authentic you.

    and i miss you.

    :-).

    Reply

  5. I love your honesty. It is very freeing to be honest, isn’t it? I try not to sugar coat anything on my blog either. I want people to know the ups AND downs of life with twins, not just the fun, pretty times!
    Good luck!!

    Reply

  6. Posted by Malenki on 05 01 11 at 5:06 pm

    Oh, darling Butterfly. You ARE real – and I am SO PROUD OF YOU for overcoming the fear of the unknown loss … I might laugh with you, but know that I will never stop loving you for who you are, and that I love the REAL you – the good, bad, ugly, and BEAUTIFUL. I am also proud of you that you can laugh, even on terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, and that you can always find a glimmer of hope in trusting God’s plan instead of your own. You make the best Cinnamon Roll Model EVER and I ❤ you with all my heart!!

    Reply

  7. Posted by Boo on 05 01 11 at 9:45 pm

    Good Stuff…funny how on some levels we are so similar and some are so different. Real is always the best though, even if you are real and disagree 🙂 Love you! Boo

    Reply

  8. Posted by chrysti on 06 01 11 at 10:09 am

    #1….if any mom says they haven’t experience a rough day I want to meet her.

    The Amazing Race would be awesome!

    Its better that people love the real you than a fake you. I love the real you 🙂

    Reply

  9. […] dinner, because I wasn’t sure how to show them without being fake.  Then I kept rereading my post about being more authentic – and so here they […]

    Reply

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